What's up...?

2011-03-06T22:30:00.015+08:00

I know this is going to be awkward if you see this.

I remember how I used to think that I'm glad (or rather really happy) to have the two of you as my good buddies. Our second year of friendship already, but somehow (and I feel that you know) that we are further apart. Now, the other one is much closer to me, and I really cherish the friendship I have with him, but I do not want to neglect my other friend. But sometimes, I don't get what you're really thinking sometimes, or maybe I'm too caught up with things to even notice something's amiss.

I do remember when you say occasionally that I listen to what you define, songs that I would brood over emotionally. But do you notice that you're also going into that state?

I know you might think I'm contradictory. I don't really talk to you this year, but everytime I see you I also don't know what I should say. Sometimes when you complain, I'll only listen. Other than saying those nice things, I couldn't do much. Sometimes, you'll just say that you rather not live already.

It was a sudden thought, but as I am typing this and thinking about the days that I was possesed by the urge of playing mahjong, I realised that not everything you want life to be turns out to be true. Like how the tiles you give out will sometimes come back even if you throw out a few times, the very things you don't want to come to you will just haunt you. We can only choose to accept the things that God gave to us. During my O level year, I couldn't get the result for Chinese twice. Complaining won't help, but I can work hard still (and those who are with me last time, well you all know the end result). Nothing in this world is perfect, everyone is fallible. And I believe that everything in this world goes around in a cycle, whatever you do will come back to you eventually, then it's up to you to deal with it positively or negatively.

Still, I treat you as a good friend. I told you my family problems before (and it's so much better than last time) and you told me yours too. I only want to say that no matter how we feel about each other, or how we change, I'll be thinking of you and I'll be there.

P.S This is dedicated to you as my first post ever since I've abandoned this blog for about two to three years.

2008-07-25T22:26:00.001+08:00

2008-07-17T22:07:00.002+08:00

Nah,in case anyone is thinking I'm deleting this post..
You're wrong..but don't worry
I'm writing my apologies here:

-Halfway(Shall continue tomorrow)-

2008-07-16T17:33:00.002+08:00

This is the most frustrated point of my life
Why do people have to accuse me of something which I did not do
No one asked me anything
No one told me anything
If not for Hong Zhang who told me
I think I don't even know that so many people say horrible things behind my back
Please
stand in my shoes
and think for yourself:

"Would I send such a message(still don't know contents) when in fact I lost my handphone?"
"Would I send

2008-07-15T21:58:00.002+08:00

Hey
While I am posting and all of you think that I'm really FREE
I actually have 1001 homework not yet COMPLETED

Yeah I'm going to do soon
1 more minute to 10.00pm
Panda is going to make me eat bones tomorrow
I swear :(

10.00pm!
Countdown to homework :D

2008-07-14T23:20:00.002+08:00

I happened to look at my past archives
and landed on the december archives

that's where all starts
and where it also ends

looking back,i really couldn't believe
i really wrote those sort of stuff
it makes me look really stupid
as what people says
"love is blind"
yeah that's really very true

it really brings back some memories
and regrettable facts too
well,what's past can't be present
i've to move on with life
or i won't have my present :D

anyway,my grade 8 practical exam pieces are out!

List A
1. Sonata in D minor(No. 25 from Raccolta di varie sonate, Book 2)
2. Fugue No. 6 in C minor (HWV 610)
3. Interludium Pastorale and Fuga secunda in G (from Ludus tonalis)

List B
1. Finale (Third movement from Sonata in C minor, Op. 10 No. 1)
2. Allegro con brio (First movement from Sonata in B flat, Op. 24 No. 2)
3. Allegretto con espressione (First movement from Sonata in E, Op. 6)

List C
1. Prelude in E minor (No. 10 from 24 preludes, Op. 102)
2. Intermezzo in B minor (No. 1 from Clavierstucke, Op. 119)
3. Moto Perpetuo
4. Retrato de Alfredo Gobbi
5. March,Op. 33 No. 1 (from The Love for Three Oranges)
6. Aligator Crawl

2008-07-14T23:00:00.003+08:00

Miss Panda makes me smile a lot in my heart nowadays
Though she might not know it herself...
I feel really really HAPPY
But,I have seriously no idea why

Panda,don't RAWR at me when you see my post!
Go eat your bamboo poles lahs! GAHAHA :D

2008-07-08T04:15:00.002+08:00

How should I start off with my post?
ok nevermind. I'll just say whatever I want here.

As from Clarence's blog
some of the secondary 3 students went for the Outward-Bound Singapore camp(OBS)
i was one of them,clarence,hong zhang and leon
i bet that no one was missing me anyway
but anyways
it was exhilirating and exhausting at the same time
for more details you also can go to Clarence's blog
cos' it's about the same

during the 5 days camp however
what lessons i learnt from this camp,differs from clarence a lot
i did gain some physical strength definetly (:
but i did gain my most important lesson
that is,the lesson of friendship and lots of stuff too

1st lesson:
though i can say the camp will really push you to the limits
and sometimes i do feel it and i really wanted to go back to singapore
our team struck out and stuck throughout the 5 days
it's a memorable experience not to be forgotten
the teamwork,the tears(ahhas:D i know who!) and
the trust bonds between each one of us
after the 5 days
almost everyone in our "Nila Utama" group
we were all really good friends
in 82 hours (:

i'll put my team members' names here:
boys: marcus,ken lim,ken yap,julian,zhen ling,afiq and aqil
girls: li ying,eugenia,mei jin,jia ru and seri

2nd lesson:
never go without a sunlotion at an OBS camp
cause if you do,you'll become a phillipino
like me
and worst thing is
the skin just feels
itchy and painfully adapted ):

3rd lesson:
do not try kayaking in the sea for 5.5 hours
or you'll have muscles cramps like some of us in our team
lucky i recovered fast after a night of good sleep

4th lesson:
when you're carrying a haversack
try to wear a life vest
it makes it much lighter
[Coach Bernard only told me on the 4th day! And I carried the "feels-like* 30kg of haversack for 4 days 3 nights! Not fair..): ]

5th lesson:
never make jokes that are not funny
your group will want to beat you up XD
*if they're in a bad mood*

6th lesson: (delicated to choir)
must always cherish choir while you can
or not you'll always want to jump off the jetty
like me (:

anyway enough of the so-called lessons :D

thank you coach bernard and (bb)?
for teaching us a lot of valuable lessons during our camp
i really,really aprecciate it
thank you for everything
if not for you wonderful coaches,and my wonderful team nila utama
i think i'll have not survived my ordeals
and pick up indirect lessons
in reality i should learn to learn
especially to trust and cherish my friends more
day by day

I LOVE YOU NILA UTAMA! (: WANNA MEET UP SOME DAY??

Outward Bound Journey-Challenger
(OD511-II)
30th July 2008-4th July 2008

"..Man looks at the outward appearance,but the Lord looks at the heart."
(1 Samuel 16:7)

I just realised how girls can be soft to an extent
it's a compliment..to some girls in my group (:
That's all, bye peeps!

2008-06-16T10:00:00.002+08:00

you know what?
ISPL's are driving me crazy
It's the LAST WEEK OF THE HOLIDAYS
and i almost forgot about it

the last 3 days
i've been rushing over my ISPL
and i did 7 ISPL total! :D
and left another 4 ISPL ==..

and guess what i'm doing now?

--
--
--
--
--
i'm working TTT___TTT
that's why i'm so DEAD,i can't do ISPL..

2008-06-11T20:29:00.002+08:00

This is a quiz that I took from Shishi's blog(:. do try it out okays? XD
(http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx)

Please answer the questions seriously or you'll be lying about your true self,most importantly deceiving yourself :D haha.

Results of the quiz I took:
Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

2008-06-05T22:07:00.002+08:00

Here's the link to the BBSS choir creed:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30a7nReMD1Q

Enjoy yourselves throughly,though I wouldn't want to watch myself =P
*eating popcorns*
sadly,i broke my thumb
maybe will recover after 2-3 weeks?
in case you're wondering how i could type
let me tell you i get 9 fingers left(:
but i can't play the piano with my right hand,for sure):

2008-06-04T10:51:00.002+08:00

yesterday was a really,long day for me
had choir practices in the morning
it was the 1st ever warm-ups since the sec 4 senior were gone
felt a little funny feeling..
then some of the sec 3 leaders have to come up and lead the warm-ups
to comment on them
it's the first time still,haha
so it's alright to make mistakes at times
anyways it's mine to make sillies tomorrow
lol..
after choir something happened
but i'm also not too what's the case

clarence and leonard went to do something
so me,jingwen and jordan went to west mall food centre 1st
reach there saw some choir members there
very very SHY i became
then jordan and jingwen went to buy food
and i went out a few times just to wait for clarence
in the end,waited for like 40 minutes
then we finished eating liaos
they still haven't eat
then later,we walked around nowhere
then clarence,jing wen and leonard went home
while me and jordan went IMM(jurong)

at IMM,had to put on my jacket
damn cold and freezing luhs
jordan said he wanted to buy Microsoft Word 2003 software
then he don't know
whether he should buy cos' he's not sure whether it works
so in the end wasted 10-15 minutes in deciding..
lol
then my mum called me to buy fishballs
hey,i'm not doing grocery shopping okay?
and i wasted $2.50 for buying that

later on,it started to rain
but me and jordan still went to mrt station
then i take bus he take mrt
ta-duh.lol

i have a feeling that someone is angry with me
for not doing something yesterday(i forgotten)
sigh,the least i can do
is to do what she wants tomorrow(:

2008-06-02T11:13:00.003+08:00

Man.I feel that choir has no sense of unity and peaceloving
for me now..
just a few days ago
i was telling zheng yang
about how disillusioned i felt everyday when i go home
the last 2 years in choir,i was like full of smiles in my heart
no matter what up and downs i have
now it's totally a different thing
i wish all my seniors could come back..

i'm really getting bad-tempered and emo for the slightest thing that i heard and get from my friends
i really wish to turn back time,and be who i was before
even if it means being slackful once more,it doesn't matter..
even if i did badly for my results,it's of no relevance to me
i just want to go back

i am really very very bored
bored bored ):

2008-06-01T14:32:00.002+08:00

I am doing this for fun,and also for some of my personal reasons
so do take this for real seriousness okay?
Take note,that when you're answering this questions:

1)Take this with a serious tone
2)Imagine youself within the story
3)Judge your answers based on the understanding of my character,the relationship between you and me,and the situations based within the story created.

*You won't enjoy this if you do not as told as above the three points.
*Good luck,and be prepared to laugh while you can...it's gonna be lame but take it serious(:

Story(In progress)

2008-06-01T13:29:00.004+08:00

I am FORCED to do this quiz by Ah Xin.I'll do it so that she can call me a GOOD BOY(:. okay let's get to business...

1. By what age do you wish to marry?
I'm still a 15,it's too early to start thinking bout'this.Students should worry about their studies before getting a girlfriend.

2. What do you want the most now?
I'll want people to accept me of who I am,and on the way a handphone might come in handy as well.

3. Who is the person you trust the most?
I don't trust anyone now with my current situation.I only trust God.

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
That depends.You figure it out yourself.

5. If you have a dream to come true, what will it be?
I wish that people will treat me more seriously when I am very SERIOUS.

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
Tell Heaven to rain first and send a rainbow.Then I'll believe cos' I've never seen one before.Don't talk science with me.

7. What is your goal for this year?
To make my goals come through.Shall not tell you what are my goals.

8. Do you believe in eternity love?
I do believe,but not for me maybe.

9. Have you broke someone's heart that he/she tried to commit suicide?
I think so?Don't ask me this sort of stuff,cos it's a boy-girl you-know-what stuff...

10. What feeling do you love the most?
Happy-Go-Lucky and making people happy? Certainly not serious,though I have my extremist way of doing that..

11. If one day... you realize that the world is going to end, & only you can save the world, what will you do?
You want propaganda or serious,honest answer from me?(Vote in my tag to know the answer..)

12. What feeling do you hate the most?
I hate the feeling of people not taking me seriously.Not the people,get your facts right.
Hate the feeling of being a joker in everyone's eye.

13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
I don't.What's the use of cherishing if you don't maintain and keep them well and safe?

14. What do you think is most important in your life?
God.Friends.Family.Myself.Studies.Money.For others,tell yourself that you're greedy that you want more of my privacy.

15. Who do you hope to be always there with you?
Depends on situations I guess.If it's something minor then I'll rather be alone and solve it myself.If not,I hope to have someone who can understand me and pull me off critical moments.

16. Who are your best friends?
There's no such thing as best friends for me because everyone is not perfect.Good friends yes,but it's also for you to find out.(Links are some of the hints)

18. What will you do if your parents divorce?
Don't talk crap.My parents won't divorce.If they do I'll run away and hang myself.

19. If a genie grant you 3 wishes, what will it be?
To change my appearance/To have a much stronger heart/To have a girlfriend(I am not greedy to ask for 99999999~ wishes unlike some people)

20. What is the most important thing on earth now to you?
God and my treasured and GOOD friends.

Instructions: Remove one of the questions and add in your personal question, make a total of 20 questions, then tag people in your list, list them out at the end of your post. Notify them in chat box, that he/she has been tagged. Whoever does this tagged... will receive blessing from all...
*I'll decide for quite a while who I want to tag and...

*Question:If you happen to contract a terminal illness and about to die,who's the very one person in your heart you'll like to spend time with?

Definetly I don't want to be alone..maybe someone truly special to me?You want to know?Well.....

We'll look at the answer after we come back from our advertisement break! XD

2008-05-31T22:24:00.003+08:00

Man!! It just took me 2 weeks to realise
How silly I am
To be worried,jealous and upset
over choir matters =X

Somehow,I woke up from my horrible dreams
When I saw Ah Xin's blog today
Ahaha,friends are sure so important
It took me a storm and floods of rain to realise
that my heart doesn't really want choir positions
or the shit about committee members or anything related
Even if I'm stripped of everything
I know there's one thing I can't lose in my life
And that's God
my best friends and friends who are treasured forever in my heart
I sure regretted saying to Clarence that
I don't need friends when I'm alone
I said to myself I'll beat every obstacles that come in my way
I need FRIENDS
I LOVE THEM LOADS
AND I STILL TREASURE THEM
I'M JUST NOBODY WITHOUT THEM

So,now I make a vow in my heart
That I'll smile always
No matter what happens
I'll be sure to come through every storm
With the POWER of FRIENDSHIP(:

A great lesson learnt
Though I have to do a creed for Ah Xin
and a quiz tagged in my blog
I lazy to do so tomorrow do can Ah Xin? XD

Ok I go sleep liaos
Bye!

2008-05-29T04:56:00.003+08:00

My heart's beating for love again
A feeling that I wanted to experience again
This time, I'll really stand out
But...
I'm being held back again
I don't ever want to make
the same mistake of
......
Who knows
If OBS camp comes
maybe I might really really
say to her
"I love you"
Just don't let it happen
PLEASSEE

*I thought I'm angry*
I'm supposed to be
How come I don't?
"Love can overwrite hatred"

[Maybe I don't want to
Maybe our hearts are different
Maybe that we're not suitable
Maybe...we made the wrong decision of loving
cos...*maybe I shouldn't say it*
I'm not going to be as impulsive as last time
I don't want to love someone just cos she's my....
But just because I love you willingly and with my whole heart
And that I really LIKED you from the start]

no i can't,because she's younger than me?
no i can't,because i gotta set a good example for my juniors?
no i can't,cos i'm still studying(that's really not a good excuse to end with)

{too bad she's in another part of the world}

2008-05-28T04:59:00.002+08:00

After six and a half hours of long sleep,
I've finally calmed down to my limit
and thus,
before I get really "fired"(can mean two meanings :D)
I'll like to make three public apologies to
THREE PERSONS XD
DUH!

Clarence:
Sorry that I ignored you yesterday when you asked me something about T-shirt?Anyway that doesn't matter..:D

YuXin:
Sorry that I ignored you too(LOL)..and got quite fed-up man.But just wanna make a PUBLIC apology to you for yesterday.SEE, I SO KIND TO MAKE IT PUBLIC UP TO LET MYSELF FEEL SO....(ERMS WHAT'S THE WORD??) Ahhh crap,I just feel really guilty over that for ignoring you or maybe you think i angry or emo-ed at you? nahh~sorries...anyways you also got the CREED video of me to make you laugh at my most RETARDED self==

Marvina:
I ignored you with "...." on yesterday's msn conversation.I felt the most kui qian to you cos you spoke a little words (what does it gotta do with that i also dunno==),think it's cos we long time never chat le bahs,then now i ignored you..sorry mei ): i think you tried cheering me up like last few seconds of my life before i sleep...i still was touched by your efforts? (: (i even shed tears last night while sleeping XD) but really sorry...

So back to the topic
OH NO
not why i'm angry or
so upset
though i'll gladly tell you
my heart was bleeding yesterday
don't ask me why
i really am HURT
serious(to someone who thinks i might not be)

I"M SO PAISEH LORS
VIDEO OF ME AND CLARENCE AND THE FEW WHO WERE LATE
FOR CHOIR PRACTICE ==
WAHHLAU
I WANTED TO COME EARLY DE
AND WANTED TAKE TAXI REACH SCHOOL
IN THE END CLARENCE TOlD ME 10AM
THEN I TOOK BUS
AND IN THE END....
KENA MS YEE CREED
THEN WE HAVE TO PULL OUR EARS IN PUBLIC
WHILE WE STAND ON ONE LEG
AND SCREAM!*(exaggeratedXD)
"LONG LIVE MS YEE"
"MS YEE'S THE GREATEST"
"BBSS CHOIR IS THE GREATEST"
"I'M SORRY I AM LATE"
AND IN cASE YOU ASKED ME HOW I KNOW
COMMON SENSE
I DID THE CREED(i said it before)
AND DID IT WRONGLY TOO THE FIRST TWO TIMES
THEN YUXIN
AND OTHER JUNIORS UP THERE
"SNAP-SHOT"
DOTS

nevermind!
i know i'm like famous for being blur and LATE
this'll be a GOOD LESSON
not to remind ah xin and anyone bout'this
before they talk about the creed
and i lose my face once more ==

before i go off
just to wish all the sec 4 choir seniors
"good luck for o'levels! i'll definetly miss you!"
that's propaganda!
no lahs...(:

anyways i gotta go now
it's now
5.20AM
and mr roy
coming up next
dunno when ^^

2008-05-27T20:04:00.001+08:00

One day,I'll leave this place for good.
No tears will be shed from my face anymore.

I just couldn't get on with life,
let my tears flow down
without anyone remembering me
I'll feel better knowing that
how unappreciated i felt

2008-05-20T20:30:00.003+08:00

Here's a very brief update about this semester's SA1 results:
English Language:66.4(B3)
Higher Chinese Language:57.7(C5)
Additional Mathematics:84.1(A1)
Mathematics:75.2(A1)
Biology:64.5(B4)
Chemistry:74.6(A2)
Physics:55.2(C5)
History+Social Studies:72.9(A2)

Reflections:
Haha, not too bad my results lah
Though I know lotta of people out there
did times better than me(:
i shall just work harder
and improve myself
promiseXD
i acually wanted a 70% overall...):

Total marks:550.6/800
Overall %: 68.825%

2008-05-18T20:36:00.002+08:00

You are the only "you
There's is no such thing as you replacement
Don't wilt away,single flower

You're like the flower
That bloomed in a dark shadow
Even though you're in a place you didn't wish to be
You can't move because of your roots

Just split out your closed-up feelings

I'll accept all of your pain and suffering
So please don't cry
Please smile, single flower

I wanted to see your innocent figure
That looked like as if it were about to wilt, one more time

I want to become your strength

Even if there comes a time
When the whole world becomes our enemy
I'll protect you

2008-05-18T18:29:00.002+08:00

hey peepsXD i'm back again!
after all the sa1 stuff and post-exams activity
i'm so...EXHAUSTED
anyway,can't post much for today
see about tomorrow
ta-da! (:

----
happy belated birthday to marvina meimei(:
quai gao zhang da

xue ye jin bu

*hahas*XD

2008-04-28T18:32:00.002+08:00

I am so bored now..
Doing constant Physics revision
and not understanding some of the concepts behind it
is really
a Big
BIG BOTHER
*sighs*

i think i'll do badly for today's higher chinese paper
cos' i was shivering throughout the whole 4 hours *LOL*
(blame myself for not bringing a jacket along)
no lahs,actually the paper is super DUBER hard
hope i can score still a 70+ overall in the 2 papers(:

anyways,tomorrow is physics paper 2
and english papers are coming along the way too
i gotta revise TYS liaos
bye~
good luck to everyone out there

sad,no one to talk to...):

2008-04-26T23:44:00.002+08:00

YAY!
i finally got my own ROOM!
weeeeeeeeeeee

1 day,8 hours and 15 minutes to SA1.
ARGH
i had only started 2 chapters on PHYSICS!
shit shit
still got 5 subjects haven't revise...
sigh
never use time well
that's the consequence
anyway,chatting on msn!
bye(:

2008-04-23T17:38:00.001+08:00

i wonder if i really did something wrong today
i don't know,really don't
is it even a crime?
i have seriously blanks over my head...

countdown to SA1:4 days,13 hours and 20 minutes.

2008-04-21T17:06:00.002+08:00

once again
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY ADALIA JUNIOR!xD
wish you grow taller everyday!
hahas!

anyways,dearestt AH XIN today
say i got no taste in choosing *???*
maybe =P
i think i old already...
never mind
and I WON'T TELL YOU THE CODE
too bad AH XIN(:

if you see this:
don't call my chinese name tomorrow
LOLS
i am being over-lame
LAME!

gotta chiong my academic studies!
bye PEEPS!

2008-04-20T17:12:00.001+08:00

yay
i have changed my blogskin!
FINALLY!
anyways
enjoy youselves here xD

2008-04-13T17:31:00.002+08:00

"pen" and scissors"?
sounds familiar right?
the choir interview...

anyways,no mood to talk about the interview
it's really so tense,the atmosphere inside
i mean
when a star gets interviewed
you feel good
proud
and relaxed
but..
this is a awesome
totally
freaky
situation.

*sighs*

words shall not express how hurt i am with you
how disappointed you have made me

it seems that
i can't stay silent anymore
the irony of people being backstabbed being hurt
yet they themselves backstab each other
how ironic...

i myself got one stab
in front
thank you =.=

how honest can you get
when you judge others without judging yourself worth to judge me?

only some of my seniors
and my juniors
can really understand
how painful inside
in me
is like

i really am so fedup
i want to break down
but i have nothing to rely on
who can help me...

i wished i hadn't join in the 1st place
why must i be dragged into this situation
can i return back
where there is peace
and harmony?

[there's no place on earth with comfort
but if may
i will like to reassure myself
the comfort
of between hearts]

2008-04-09T17:55:00.002+08:00

currently,i am thinking what positions i'll get in choir
it's going through my mind each practice
and the tension between some of the sec 3
i make it sound like a cold war anyways(:

anyways,best luck to every of the sec 3!
HOPE YOU ALL GET YOUR POSTIONS!

JIAYOU CLARENCE
JIAYOU LEONARD
JIAYOU WILLIAM
JIAYOU SHARON
JIAYOU CHEAN PIN
JIAYOU SUCHI
JIAYOU LIMIN
JIAYOU YIJUN
JIAYOU SUE YI
JIAYOU DESIREE
JIAYOU CLARA
JIAYOU KELLIE
JIAYOU ANGELA
JIAYOU SYAFIQAH

well,i think that's all the sec 3 batch that i want to wish them KUDOS<3

anyways,the 2 years in choir have been great for me
thanks to my choir seniors and the junior boys! sorry i cant say anything for the girls..but hope i can get to know you all more!XD
especially zheng yang!
thanks so much(:
for bucking me up when i am down emotionally
and being such a close senior to me
though you may not know it!
thanks for giving me your support in almost every area i do
LOVES(:
you're my great GREAT senior forever!!

and to shaun:
thanks also,i also don't know what to say
but i just feel guilty every time i wanted scores =X
anyways, really THANKS!
i appreciate your kindness!
hahas

and if you happen to read this
you also play an important role in my life
to huishan:
if weren't for you and melissa
i wouldn't be what i am today =X
from the day i joined choir
i was like damn shy you know??
but because you two seniors tried to get me involved somehow
i was able to get through the whole year with my new friends
if weren't for you two
i don't think i would even be in choir today
or even what i am going to be soon...
anyway,THANKS for your support
and encouraging me to improve on my piano skills
hope you don't forget what you have helped me
or not i will be saying this for nothing.hahas (:

THANKS TO ALL THE OTHER SENIORS IN CHOIR TOO!

ok,i wont bother to update today's stuff
maybe,MAYBE tomorrow bahs
bye peeps!

2008-04-05T17:53:00.001+08:00

It's at least two years
I wonder if you ever thought about it
How we started off not knowing each other
And ended up in my matured day

The day
where you
and I
are going to bid farewell to each other

How i wish
to go back where Adam and Eve
was on the very own
created foundation of
God
Never to break up
to suffer
and to die

It's unbelievable
that you will go before me
Maybe I'll miss you
though I don't think you'll know
except for the shadow which routes past
across the steps of heaven

You often told me that
i should not put my personal matter
before my very own commitment
This commitment
is too weak
to be tested by
either fire and rain

As i look upon once more
the days we had together
i swear that
no matter what
i'll always remember you
and the memories we both shared
and bonded
though we are not
counterparts

It's doesn't matter
where you'll be after
the road is opened before you
it doesn't matter
whether i'll follow you
as long we have the past
that's enough to thank God

2008-04-04T22:13:00.002+08:00

today's choir practice was fun hors
especially when it involves juniors bullying you?
haha,too bad for me
no one will feel pity or sad for me ):
never mind XD

anyways,just in case someone thinks
she knows me very well
i tell you straight in your face
you don't
cos i have octet images
a term i learned from my chem teacher
so if anything goes wrong
i can change my attitude
so beware

bye peeps! (:

2008-04-02T19:25:00.004+08:00

o.o noticed the tags inside my tagboard
i guess i haven't been posting for quite a LONG time
anyways, i am back right? peeps missed me? haha. WAIT LONG

let's get the post started
life have been full of ups and down these previous weeks

i failed my a maths test
retest did not do so well

birthday not remembered by most of my classmates
only a few wished me happy birthday which was quite heartening
and my dear juniors too

some of my juniors are having minor problems
this can be a problem for me too

chinese debate coming up this friday
i have no ideas!!

being too emoistic
too sad

choir seniors leaving soon
i can't comment on that,emotionless XD

lastly,where is the DAMN chemistry test
going to BE GIVEN BACK?

find out from me on msn if you want the details for each part
haha,i too lazy to remember everything

today's sports day lasted like until 5.00pm
then thunder and rain
*BOOM*! then *POUR*
YES, RAIN!
aiya,still have to wait for half an hour then release from the cck stadium
the whole event was like so boring lors
do a maths revision there for tomorrow's a math test
sianz

some girls really are helpless hors??
need me to even open one bottle of 100 plus for the three of them
and not 1 couldn't even open it?
i more man, use t-shirt and open
HAHAS
jkjk i dont mean they're useless

in the end,i got my little retribution for thinking that(the sentence above)
when i smsed someone calling her pig
oh no
she's not happy with me
OR IS IT APRIL FOOL'S DAY STILL?
haha,sad lahs ):
why did you call me your dearest senior in the 1st place
anyways i am truly HONOURED
to KENA by the hands of my DEAR JUNIOR XD
thank you!!
lol...

bye peeps
maybe i could update something fresh next time when i am online (:

TAG REPLIES

limin: ok relinked(: yes yellow rawks! too gay XD
chen xinger: haha.passing by?les with yuxin? hahas!! girlfriend still...
vina: thanks MEI (: where's my present you said? HAHAX nvm XD
yuxin: ok relinked (: dont les with xinger lahs!les with me dearest senior! lol i am not a girl so i wont anyways XD
lastly:

teikwei: pls do leave your link so that i can link you okays? and i very jiang yi qi de lors.i still remember you!! *your so-called teasing that is* *implying something*

2008-03-16T19:17:00.002+08:00

what is really love?does true love even exists?

what love really means to us everyone?
is it,to so-called give your heart and everything to the one you love
or to share sweet-talks romance among two bloomers?

or is it what some says:
"give in and tolerate the opposite sex?"
but that would be defying our own charater.

another butts in
"as long the other flower is happy,i'll be happy"
"that doesn't make sense.isn't that too much of a selfless love?"
"love is self-sacrificial"
"then why not the other party sacrifice for me?why do i have to do it?"

someone told me
love hurts,no one gains
if two gives in,character is not defined
if thus saith sweet-talketh,love is just plain water
if it's self sacrificial,one will lose out and other will gain
i cannot understand such logic
so i hate love
cause i am hurt

2008-03-16T12:47:00.002+08:00

OKAYS XD i know i haven't been blogging for quite AWHILE.
here are some of the NON-PRIORITISED stuf i have been dawdling on the holidays:

1)sms-ing juniors(i am not a flirt if i sms to girls bahs)
2)calling up people for no rhyhme no reason XD
3)chatting online
4)sleeping
5)doing homework =.=

up til now,i haven't finish my homework.at least 3 of them
i know.my juniors are better than me kay??finish homework so early hors...
especially erms...XZB
LOL.
or should i post your real name up here?
nvm
someone will know de luhs.*hahas*

yesterday,i went out early to JEC
guess who i saw the 1st moment i alighted from 98-bus?
SHUN YU! (: and the 1st thing she asked me
was DONATION =.=
ok anyways,to give face,i donated S$1
be grateful
*hahas* jkjk
i am a very KIND gentlemen de
^^

think will be getting my IC and my exam results soon enough
if i pass,it'll be good lahs,as in i got face
if i fail,i lose 200 bucks .___."

i am very BORED
BORED
SAD
CRIED
EMO
HAHA
WHY AM I LAUGHING?
OK NVM
I DEE XIAO LUH
BYE
I WANT THEM TO COME ONLINE
SIANZ

2008-03-10T21:28:00.002+08:00

i just don't know why!i am just getting more sad every moment of my life.

please,i want to help others.
especially my juniors...
i just feel damn sad luhs
seeing their blogs
SIGH

2008-03-09T19:58:00.003+08:00

damn,my house is currently on RENOVATION,and that means SCOLDINGS everyday ):

but i had a good chat with my junior Yu Xin
eh,why am i mentioning your PRECIOUS name up here ahs??
oh yes,i remembered you slapped me twice!!
haha joking joking
actually you did,with the use of what we called "TECHNOLOGY"
and a picture of "one pikachu slapping the other pikachu"
and in case anyone of you don't know how a pikachu looks like

well,it looks like this:

CUTE RIGHT?!
yu xin,you should thank me for that
one: to show you how cute is pikachu and...
two: to set up this picture for you to show my pikachu is cuter than yours!
(joking joking)

LOL.i am lame.i have nothing to do.
does anyone wants to go out this holiday week??
i am seriously bored at home ):

2008-03-08T21:18:00.003+08:00

HEY PEEPS!I AM BACK TO BLOGGING!Oh well,my blog's so dead around two weeks luh ): But still,many thanks to the people who tagged,though some comments are based on my taste of skins =.=

Let's get back to the topic!
The two weeks I am really so busy.
Common tests gotten back!
But I am pretty disappointed ><
Overall for my term one CA1 results
I got two A1,two A2,one B4,one C5,one C6 and one D7/E8.
But never mind!
For those who did not really get what you hoped for
let's get togeter and JIAYOU JIAYOU!
HAHAS. BUCK UP FOR SA1! NO MORE SLACKING (:

i need to help marvina mei to understand the context of "Animal Farm"
i need to get to know my two little juniors: yu xin and adalia!
i need to get to know all the choir juniors!

ARGH! I LEFT MY BIOLOGY WORKBOOK IN MY LOCKER!
AND I LOVE EVERYONE LOADS! INCLUDES MY JUNIORS XD

2008-02-24T12:41:00.006+08:00

I AM SO BORED AT HOME LUHS!!

HAVE TO DO SO MUCH HOMEWORK!

EWW!!

someone save me,or i'll really go bonkers this time! wahaha ): sad life.

tag replies

syu: will link u soon! hahas, I AM NOT SPONGEBOB! RAWR!

siewying: will link u soon too! hahas thx for tagging!

ql: i spongebob you patrick lors!lets find someone to be squirtwort!wahaha!

Liying: ARGH I AM NOT SPONGEBOB! oh wait i have said that liaos! lol.

vina: you guess lors.u asking the obvious lors! XD

Clarence: do you think i care?? i was only joking around in my blog.lol...

p.s: btw,i will try to reply to tags more in the tagboard soon.so tag more peeps and keep my blog alive! thanks (:

2008-02-22T22:37:00.002+08:00

Hehe,it's finally the end of the week!
I am so tired and worn-out lors...

I treated Zheng Yang to a treat today
cos'i lost my bet to him
nvm,it's alright
weird thing is,he seems to know that
i am very duber deep in thought today
i thought about a lot of things...

after that,went up the to classroom again
saw an hua and zhi ting there
both of them so hardworking lors
an hua reading bio textbook,zhi ting doing chemistry revision
maybe we should open a spongebobbies club soon!
HAHA
tell ya a secret
saw zhi ting's o level chemistry book today
a small little booklet
omg,inside the questions mostly very chim lors!
haha,don't blame me if you see this hors zt!
i was just curious,sorry

went home later by myself
sianz,leon got ncc,almost everyone has gone home
my senior also got cca...
as usual,she didn't come to school today cos' she's sick...
get well soon piggy! JKJK

2008-02-20T04:50:00.003+08:00

hohoho! i am so DEAD XD
i think i'll fail science papers yesterday.super so hard today luh.
hehe,everyone else also said it was quite hard.
anyways,there's ss and history combined common test today!
and i'm still blogging at this hour.(4.51pm) naughty boy ):
LOL

i had just time to look around my ex-classmates blogs
that includes 6H-05
well,remembering the times we did have together
and comparing our presents now
it seems like we have our own personal lives
remember that we used to miss each other
but now...
yeahs,our friends now are much more closer to us (:
i don't mean anything
just stating out something

i had like told an amount of 3e2 people
that i wanted to quit higher chinese
most of them told me not to quit
because mostly of lcl..haha
but also to persevere on no matter what happens.
thanks a lot to these people!(:
i will try to luh...cos i am really super weak in chinese
and taking higher chinese is another huge burden to curb it on my shoulders
i failed for the recent 1st hcl test
got an F9
but i promised myself i will do better
yeah hope this common test can pull my overall up

and do tag more peeps!
my blog looks more dead...):

2008-02-18T21:12:00.000+08:00

"I want you to love me, but I dont think you will."
I wander around as I repeat this to myself
It's the only answer I have, even if I'm scared of getting hurt.
I'll say "I love you" to the one I love

Do you love me or not?
I don't care what the answer is, I just need to know!
No matter how badly I desire to be with you
There are many unchangeable things in this world
and my love for you
can't be stopped by anyone

As 1000 nights pass, I long to tell you
I have to let you know
"I want you to love me, but I don't think you will."
I wander around as I repeat this to myself
It's the only answer I have, even if I'm scared of getting hurt.
I'll say "I love you" to the one I love
Putting these feelings into words is so scary
but I'll say "I love you" to the one I love

The happiness we chance upon in our lives can't be expressed in words
That's why we can only smile
Why we sing "do re mi" among the vivid autumn colors
With winter at our backs, and the spring sunbeams peeking through the leaves
as to protect someone who's just been reborn

As I looked at the road I'd traveled and the path ahead,
my eyes were filled with cowardice
I wanted to look into your eyes, but was afraid I wouldn't be honest
I didn't want to know that you didn't love me
and live the rest of my days alone
That day, I kept on loving you without getting hurt

As 1000 nights pass, I long to tell you
I have to let you know
"I want you to love me, but I don't think you will."
I wander around as I repeat this to myself
It's the only answer I have, even if I'm scared of getting hurt.
I'll say "I love you" to the one I love
Even if my feelings aren't returned, I can say "I love you" to the one I love
And that's the most beautiful thing in the world

Aisaretai demo aisou to shinai
Sono kurikaeshi no naka wo samayotte
Boku ga mitsukata kotae wa hitotsu kowakutatte kizutsuitatte
Suki na hito ni wa sukitte tsutaerunda

Anata ga boku wo aishiteru ka aishitenai ka
Nante koto wa mou docchi demo ii n da
Donna ni negai nozomou ga
Kono sekai ni wa kaerareru mono ga takusan aru darou
Sou soshite boku ga anata wo aishiteru to iu jijitsu dake wa
Dare ni mo kaerareru shinjitsu dakara

Sen no yoru wo koete anata ni tsutaetai
Tsutaenaka naranai koto ga aru
Aisaretai demo aisou to shinai
Sono kurikaeshi no naka wo samayotte
Boku ga mitsukata kotae wa hitotsu kowakutatte kizutsuitatte
Suki na hito ni wa sukitte tsutaeru n da
Kimochi wo kotoba ni suru no wa kowai yo demo
Suki na hito ni wa sukitte tsutaeru n da

Kono hiroi sekai de meguri au yorokobi wo kotoba jya ii arawasenai ne
Dakara bokutachi wa hohoemi
Iro azayaka ni sugiru aki wo doremi de utatte
Fuyu wo se ni haru no komorebi wo machi
Atarashiku umare kawaru dareka wo mamoreru youni to

Kita michi to yukisaki furikaereba itsudemo okubyou na me wo shite ita boku
Mukiaitai demo sunao ni narenai
Massugu ni aite wo aisenai hibi wo
Kurikaeshite wa hitoribocchi wo iyagatte
Ano hi no boku wa mukizu na mama de hito wo aisou to shite ita

Sen no yoru wo koete ima anata ni ai ni yukou
Tsutaenaka naranai koto ga aru
Aisaretai demo aisou to shinai
Sono kurikaeshi no naka wo samayotte
Boku ga mitsukata kotae wa hitotsu kowakutatte kizutsuitatte
Suki na hito ni wa sukitte tsutaeru n da
Sono omoi ga kanawanakutatte suki na hito ni sukitte tsutaeru
Sore wa kono sekai de ichiban suteki na koto sa

2008-02-17T19:41:00.002+08:00

I already told you countless times
that I truly hold no feelings for you
Please if you do see this
tell yourself don't perservere
and give up on me
Cos' my heart will not change
and A + B will never = AB
I don't want to hurt your feelings
but I have to to stop this
I do not wish to be unfair
both to you and myself
After all i came out of a broken relationship
hurt and torn apart
and i do not want to get involved
in such matters again
In 3 days time i will delete this post

2008-02-15T19:35:00.004+08:00

Let me recall back what happened back today...hmm...

Yeahs,Ms Punitha taught about the lens part today
I finally grasp a bit of the concept..through a bit of her help
So I am just going to study again to strengthen on what I know.

Later we had PE, boys were playing first badminton.it was like any ordinary day.hit and smash,run and hit,hit and run...nono not hit-and-run.then we ran 8 rounds in the field.i was pretty much dehydrated after 4 rounds cos' i didn't drink any water...wonder if it's gotta to do with my running.but still, KC pushed me forward.in the end,i managed to get 3rd in the whole race,but KC had his leg sprained or what...so it's only fair that i help him with the PE equipment.was exhausted after that throughout the math lesson.holy shit,but thanks KC!

recess was pretty much funny.got 5 rations of sweet potatos.some said got tapioca but cant see where the hell it is...nvm.went down took 1 go up and eat.mmm...not bad mahs!so go down,saw zheng yang eating.took other two packs of two rations.ate 2 rations,gave 1 to zy,and ended giving suchi the last one who asked for it.before that,i still had 2 rations of sweet potato.so i told zy we walked down to 1e3 classroom.then saw marvina and terence.wanted to make them hungry but only terence noticed it and err? he thought i was distracting him away from his work by waving at him,but actually was waving potatoes at him!sadly,the other junior did not notice,so cannot make fun of her lors ):

HCL was pretty boring,cant think of anything descriptive to say.just that i might have broke someone's electronic stuff and might have to pay half of the amount...

stayed back,saw jordan and terence in the canteen talking to each other in the canteen.from talking about jordan being bullied by his friend or what,the conversation changed target: to me!! i got bullied cos' they said i bullied them lors...later terence left and taught jordan simultaneous equations(yeah,i hear some jeerings,i know it's easy...) and he got a lil confused over the concept after a while.but nvm,will continue with my "teaching" on mon/tue...

went back with zy later.the whole time on the bus and in school we were talking about Physics luh.yeahs,two nerds talking Physics theories and stuff.eh,did i say i was one?nah,only trying to express myself as hardworking.LOL.

hmm,that's about it lahs
will update another day if something comes up (:

2008-02-12T03:28:00.000+08:00

Whoops!Sorry for not blogging the past few days!(:Thanks people for visiting my blog!XD

Anyways,after CNY season,school seems to have returned back to normal.Except that,I became more blur lahs!Yesterday,I forgot my social studies worksheets files,english files,chinese homework and chemistry file,which has all my completed worksheets inside!ARGH!Luckily,the teachers were quite kind enough to give me time until tomorrow or until wednesday bahs!(:So THANKS teachers!

Throughout the night,I almost couldn't fall asleep,cos' I was really having a bad sore throat and *COUGH*..ahem the whole night away.Yeah if you don't believe is alright with me.So i woke up at 3.23am today,blogging away...yups.*cough*

Right now,I am feeling so super duber emo.Listening to japanese songs...remembered I used to watch Inuyasha and having addicted to the songs luhs.It's damn touching.

Haha,end of my blog post.Missed choir <3

2008-02-08T09:26:00.000+08:00

One thing that I wonder if I should laugh or cry:

1) Having a lame junior to laugh and joke with
2) Having a junior that sends short sms
3) Having a junior that sends sms that I have no idea how to reply

LOL! I was like...erms emo, then suddenly laughing, then emo again.

This was what happened last evening sms conversation with my junior(it's a her)-->

Me: I am going to sleep. Chat tomorrow bahs...
Her: Chey.U going sleep soon?pig?hahas. just joking
Me: ya lars..i piggy can? XD then you what? lol.you also piggy..eat supper at nite lors.like piggys pig each other XD (lame...)
Her: My family nocturnal one la.so eat food at 3/4am normal one la(OMG? but that's true, i did chat with her at 3.00am before)
Me: LOL.then you owl lahs! dots okay i go sleep liaos.
Her: So early..

Actually, I wanted to add in: "you miss me ars?" but i know what kind of reply will i get ><

It's very easy to guess who is it lahs XD

2008-02-07T15:42:00.000+08:00

Today was truly fun!! FUN-LOVING <3

I had the greatest time of my life, with them!
Watched the movie "Ah Long Pte Ltd"
Hillarious, touching and scary at some parts.
Laughed and emo-ed at the same time.

I was "high" throughout the whole afternoon
With them, my troubles aren't worth anything
Yeahs, it's good to be with them
Girls and boys are alike
What's most is that you spend time with them

HAHA. I FEEL GOOD FEELING RETARDED! XD

2008-02-03T14:27:00.001+08:00

This will be my last post for the weekends.
Gosh,I haven't cleared up all my homework.
Most of them at least, like physics,chemistry and maths.
Remaining are in my below list:

Biology
Textbook-page 36,39,41,44(TEST YOURSELF!)
Workbook-whole of chapter 3(movement of substances)

HCL
Newspaper article(1 line would suffice,that's what the teacher at least says)

Yeahs,so a few only.But I might be too lazy to do them=P)

I have been thinking of ways of how I should die.why? because there's just too much stuff bothering me.

Death methods to choose from
1. Hanging on a gallow.Simplest but excruciating method of suffering and dying ):
2. Jumping off a building.But I have no balls to do that.
3. Getting involved in a car accident.Bit related to Physics...maybe not.
4. Drowning in a pool.No,I might run off before I even step inside.
5. Making love?Getting squashed by your partner and dying of suffocation.That seems...erms nice? Oh gawd...but it's the most possible way of dying,comparing my *size* ahem (:

Oh well,better not be too horny XD.And I am not refering to anyone particular in the list.

I don't want to die so suddenly.Not for the last method, cos' it's too horrible to start with.I better stay alive throughout my years...and cherish what I have.

"Do not let anyone worry too much about you.It means that the person still likes you a lot.But not for me,so fret not."

2008-02-01T19:06:00.000+08:00

Sigh, another week of school has passed by
It's already the 2nd month of February...

I don't know what I should do
I have been getting quite okay or good results
And some people(who i shall not named for privacy) has been like
ON MY NERVES
IT'S LIKE FREAKING HELL DAMN SICK YOU KNOW THAT
EVERYTIME I TURN AROUND
IT'S LIKE TWO OR THREE PEOPLE SAYING I AM TRYING TO SHOW OFF
THE SMS WERE NOTHING COMPARED TO THOSE, TRULY

c'mon lahs, use your common sense
do you think i like to compete with results that much?
unless you turn everyone in this school into retards
then i shall consider the joy of
slacking =P
LOL

but seriously, i get pissed off
and i get emo
when i see friends around me...
that hasn't been scoring very well
one even lost one mark just because of his honesty(not that i am blaming him)
they may just sit there not showing anything, just laughing away...
but who knows?
everytime sitting for tests,i am just worried
that my friends, might fail or just passed for it
it's just make my "good" results look like invisible ink written score

yet, even if i want to teach them
i couldn't even muster the courage

i guess i'll have to make it public:

it's like, one of my friends, is like my previous crush
"PREVIOUS CRUSH",LISTEN UP
i don't know if anyone of you has been through love before
but
tell me
after "breaking up"
how do you expect me
to just act as if nothing has happened
i don't want to make anyone feel that i am trying to avoid her
but seriously,i am doing that,i don't have enough courage......

on the other hand, still feel that
her seniors are helping her, some of her good friends are helping her
however,
she hasn't been really doing well(okay, don't read too much into it,i don't want to die!!!)
yeahs, anyone should be really worried and concerned
but
i am trying not to interfere
cos either way
i can't approach her normally
and the other is
she has to come out all of this by herself
after all, life is not problems-free
there are always at least 2 problems every single day for you to cope with(homework and teachers maybe? duh)

but still got some friends of mine
who have did better than me
i am actually
deep inside happy and erms...jealous
LOL
i know i shouldn't said that
but seriously,i want to work hard this year
and get into one of the first top 20 students!
i know i am being unrealistic
when you realise that
my last year's ranking was 97???
and expect me to jump by at least 77 posttions???
ROFL
lets bet then!
if i succeed,then must...
emrs, i can't think of anything!
oh forget it!

yeahs, i noticed that the number of people coming to my blog increased to 210+
in like 2 weeks ever since i started this on like the 2nd week of formal school lessons
but, why no one tag my tagboard?
it's like so dead can?

anyways,i am still thinking whether
should i quit HCL and drop to ECL?
cos...i feel is like overwhelming lors
everyone there is like
100x smarter than me.
and i am just a noob still
today's test can see that
my vocabulary for chinese sucks
LOL
i might fail, then teacher might have to downgrade me
but, i still don't know
cos...there's LCL if i drop down
she's strict, but at least won't expect the standard of HCL bahs
but i don't really like strict teachers still =P(like lcl)
when i say strict here, it means that
is like always saying about something each day
scolding badly, and hardly ever nice.
yeahs, our HCL teacher is nice!
but, she still expects a very high standard from us
so, should i continue or not?
i really don't know...

after like 1 month liaos
i kind of get used to the stress
although i take my time for granted still to goof off
at least, when i am on my work
i can really show that i put my best in it
i don't know why
but when i walked out of the Physics lab after finish redoing the 2nd SPA practise task
i feel as if
I must, must give my best for every experiment that i do!
WHOA! LOL!
don't know lahs, see how 1st (:

and, i like the idea of having tests almost every day and week!
one thing is because, maybe i love to compare my marks? (a bit of that extent,but not showing off)
and other is to pull up my marks for CA1 and SA1
it has really benefited me a lot
it's like a review of every chapter of subject you learn
at least you have "proper revision" of what you are doing
LOLS

and i have become more conscious of filing up things
i used to have improper files, torn and lost worksheets
but now,i feel like as if i have the passion for studying
started filing up my notes,stuffs and all sorts of things
especially sciences =P
HAHA

ok, i think i have said what i wanted
do tag to share with me your feelings and opinions kay?
bye! :D

2008-01-26T11:38:00.000+08:00

LOL! HAHA! YAY!
I just feel tremendously HAPPY TODAY!

I scored full marks for E.Maths 1st test!
Scored full marks for english reading test!
Both tests are cheapskate =.= LOL! (:
But I have a feeling I will be going downhill.
Please! I want to maintain my standard!

Next week still got chemistry test,biology test and A.Maths test.
Hope I can score full marks for them!Aiya fat hope for me lahs.

And if you happen to see this post,
I just want to say it
that I truly cared for you
be it as friendship or another ship (LOLS?)
I am willing to help you whenever you need it
But I don't like
the feeling of being misunderstood
although I understood
that some of my words
maybe of undesirable hurts to you
but i just want to tell you
that I REALLY CARED FOR YOU
anyone standing in your shoes
i will also do the same, more or less
so don't think too much about it
and put in your best effort for your coming tests kays? (:
p.s. (delicated to someone i truly treated as a good friend,though we hardly talk to each other)

and THANKS to li ying!
in her blog post, said that i am very smart
but still i have to be modest
and say that i am really NOT the best of everything
and my physics sucks =P LOL!

EVERYONE!SMILE!(:(:(:(:(:

2008-01-23T16:39:00.000+08:00

I feel my life is turning upside down. Down till I am down-upside around the overhead bridge, ready to commit "suicide".

I really get pissed off
when you point fingers at someone
yet you yourself are no better
Is that human nature
that most people are like that
I don't get your way of doing things
neither getting at your attitude
I just don't want to talk to you

I wish someone, someone whom I can talk to
I am going to explode soon

I just read An Hua, Li Ying, and Ruth's blog
I learned something from each of the blogs
Let me summarise them
for my last current feelings

"If you want to give up loving someone
you don't go on thinking and ranting about
your feelings, you still loved her things like that
Instead, you should be happy now
that you are care-(free)-->less
and get a life."--Roy(Adapted from the above blogs)

I give up. The love I hold now...
I throw it into the deep blue sea, to be floated down the Dead Sea
For love has no meaning for two in one
It's pure torture to drink bitter
Illusioned memories
Lasting hurt
Screwed

GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP GIVE UP

i give up. this doesn't seemed to work. expressing my feelings through writing doesn't seem to work for me either when it involves complicated stuff.

anyways, the tests aren't too difficult today
especially maths
i can't believe it was that hard
many said question 5 was a killer question
well, i personally think
that i killed the question
within 4 minutes
and i want to make a kill
by getting full marks

chemical equations aren't that bad either
made a few careless mistakes here and there
otherwise, aimed to get 20 and above

2008-01-22T22:22:00.000+08:00

SHIT SHIT SHIT
i seriously have no idea how to do physics!
sad sia ):
no one kind enough to tutor me
so have to be confused :P

good luck to everyone in 3e2 for their tests tomorrow! JYJY (:

2008-01-21T16:33:00.000+08:00

How pathetic.
I failed my chemistry test: 4/10
JUST 1 MORE MARK! AND I COULD HAVE PASSED!
WA LAO...NOT FAIR SEH..NVM ):

and for some reasons
i feel like ignoring "people" this week
not because i like it
or because of homework
i just don't want to spill out my feelings
so pardon if you don't get any reply from me ;P

and tests this week and next week
but i am still very slacky

once a slacker,always a slacker. start studying, you would end up sleeping
just like i am going to do now. zzzzzz

and ANON, i know who you are, just in case you think i don't know you
i am smart right? (;
haha, i AM so thick-skinned
but sorry hors...anyways

A LATE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CLARENCE! YEAH I KNOW HE'S DISSAPONTED...SORRY, REALS SORRY...): (p.s. can you please post your posts with more privacy and consideration?)

2008-01-16T20:16:00.000+08:00

16/01/2008(Dated)

"Poor Roy is currently having a fever, a flu, and a headache.
Not mentioning a cough and aches around his tormented body.
Yet,he has to finish up his homework.ALL.By TOMORROW.
And thinking the loads he have to bear,
he might not want to come to school
or choir,tomorrow.
So if you see him looking red,
it means the virus really pissed him off
and you don't want to insult or even say something
SOMETHING that can trigger his BAD MOOD."

Reported:By the one who is writing it.Lol :P

Oh well, hook or by crook
I have to finish up my homework stuff
and try to sleep early tonight.
But I doubt I will
since there are pounds of homework
waiting for me to shrink them to their
NOTHING-LESS

I really don't wish to do anything, not when I am so drastically mad of the virus
It makes me useless and floppy.

Still, I am feeling much better(:

SHE asked me whether I can wait that long.
If SHE ever sees this reply......
(Make sure she'll sees)

I love you loads and truly...

I will wait for you,even if I know one day,

you might forget about me...

you are still,

the 3rd most important factor

in my life, my whole life and love.

Amen. God I will put 1st. HAHA. (:

(it's good that you got 3rd out of 3. LOLS=D joking...)

God please take away my AH-CHOO and my HIGH-NESS and my OOUUCH and GRROOANS.

SIGH ):

2008-01-15T23:18:00.000+08:00

Yoohoo peeps! I am back after the busy days..not that busy still lahs.(:

As usual,the end of day ends up with HOMEWORK.
NVM, it's good practise anyways=D
I have a little problem with the A maths logic still.
Maybe I'll ask mrs goh tomorrow bahs.
And I forgot about my english homework, and history textbook and workbook today!
Aiya, forgetful me.
Wo de lao mao bing you chu xian.
Hope I won't be that careless/forgetful next time.

Choir practise today...I teared a lot.
Actually I had a bad cold and flu and FEVER after last night's awakeness until 2pm.
COOL.I TOLD ZHENG YANG. AND HE SAYS HE ALSO STAYED UP LATE BEFORE.BUT NOT AS PSYCHO AS ME.
AHHH-CHOOOO!
LOL.
I hate sneezing and coughing.
Very painful for me, and irritating.
Can't get my focus on school.
Hope'll be well by tomorrow.

Hehe, somehow I start to like Chemistry lessons, especially the teacher.
LOLS. mdm yaw sometimes can be really funny, i mean her jokes lahs.
i just need more concentration, and i will appreciate her lessons more (:
hahas.

everything is still going well.
i'll still wait for HER bahx.
while preparing my studies til O'levels

there's maths remedial tomorrow. can't afford to stay up late tonight.at least before 1 pm.

well, good night peeps! =P

2008-01-12T12:03:00.000+08:00

back to blogging again..but seriously i don't know what to blog about.

TONS OF HOMEWORK!
BIOLOGY,CHEMISTRY,CHINESE,MATHS.
AND THERE'S CHEMISTRY TEST ON MONDAY.
HAVE TO STUDY REAL HARD FOR IT!

Yeahs,so she broke up with me.
My heart was shattered and torn apart.
I cried myself to sleep in my heart for the whole night.
Today,I felt much better.
Yups,to get hurt now than to get hurt badly later on.
Thanks for the "BREAK".
I have matured from this a little.
A little bit AT LEAST.

Maybe I am also not suited for a relationship.
But we two are still friends,for sure.
But in my heart,I can't forget her for sure.
I will try to bahx...

At least I missed her.
Not like the other relationship I had.
I was hurt badly by another HER.

However,I still feel more hurt in this secondary life relationship than the 3 years ago relationship.
But it's still worth it, the mental pain and sorrow
for the one I truly love(d) and always <3

Oh, what am I talking bout'?
Go figure it out yourself.
I want MATHS!

2008-01-09T19:00:00.001+08:00

My heart is really tormented, I have no idea why
I just don't get it, and I am confused
Bleeding, shattered and disappointed within myself.
I couldn't concentrate.
For the whole day I was in white.
WHY?
How could such a thing happen?
Why must life be so jealous?
Just when all seems right, and i turned back
Fate dropped its weight on me
Now I am carrying on my back
Though it's invisible
Soon, I will break down.
I am not a strong guy who can hold out for long.
I just want to release everything once and for all.
HAIX.

2008-01-09T16:50:00.000+08:00

Finally! I have an excuse to go onto the computer cos' I have Chinese homework and to print something for my cover pages of files. Also to blog too =P

Yeah, Sec 3 life's is sure tougher than the previous 2 years I had in BBSS. I am starting to feel the stress the upper secs' are feeling...

But still okay lahs, only sometimes homework overloaded, and very tired to do them. No matter what, I have to keep on my focus and study really hard.

And a big "incident" happened yesterday, I was taken aback by shock, I didn't know I was so careless to leave such a private stuff behind, and worse still, a 4N classroom!

I know saying the usual stuff won't be of any use.
I just don't want people around me to get affected, and dearly close to me too.
Why must of all bad things, happened at such a time?
But I know no matter
how much you say that no one wants this to happen
I can't stop thinking that
if i hadn't dropped it
None of this would have happened.
Yes, if the contents inside are spilled out
My heart will....bleed of my guilty conscience.
I don't expect anyone to feel symphatetic for me
after all, i am a jerk with no human feelings...

Sigh.

Let's don't talk bout' this.
It makes me feel giddy with guilt.

My Msn hotmail address has a freaking problem.
Now I can't see who's online and who's not.
What a shame.
I will have to create a new one all over again.
I got a new number too, for my handphone.

These days he has been sticking to me like bubble gum
I have no idea why, we had not been like talking to each other.

I am losing all concentration.
There's a quiz on Biology tomorrow,
and I have to finish up tons of homework.

But for my sake and someone's sake,
I am doing all my best to overcome all obstacles.

2008-01-01T15:33:00.000+08:00

haha, since everyone is almost putting up their New Year resolutions, i should also. Not that I am forced to, but i should have some kind of goal and vision.

This is my first time have resolutions for New Year

2008 New Year resolutions:

To study hard and not to slack off too much in sec 3.
To play the piano as well as...hahas Hui Shan maybe? LOL
To pass Grade 5 practical exams( this is a must! i don't want to waste $200!)
To play the drums and the guitar.
To eat more! Gain weight!
Increase my knowledge on vocabulary. (my vocab sucks=P)
To be talkative more!
To grow taller!
Spend time more with friends and family!

-->TO understand HER and <<33 HER with ALL of the BEST my HEART can give.(mushy =D)

________________________-THE END-_____________________

2008-01-01T02:26:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE THAT VISITS MY BLOG! (: DUH OBVIOUSLY, SINCE YOU HAVE TO READ IT IN ORDER FOR ME TO WISH YOU THAT.LOLS=P

haha, we had a count-down today at 12.00pm.
screen flickers--> "10...9..8" so forth and so on...
LOL.
COUNT-DOWN OveR!
lame.__."

i know it's quite late!
it's already 2.30pm here, 2 and 1/2 hours from the count down on 12pm
ok, very tired, gotta sleep nows (:

2007-12-31T13:19:00.000+08:00

i am really so sorry...
that i did not even think of your feelings
and what you will think
i know that i am very selfish
and what i did was very wrong
i don't ask anything
let alone forgiveness
but just for a start
let me explain the whole thing...

that very day you told me of your heart
i was really very very happy
and i told you mine too
but i couldn't control my feelings
so the next day i told some people
i happen to told him
and him told you bout'it
then you asked him to find out who i told

after the next day, you told me what you think of
i felt hurt a little
but i couldn't blame you
cos of what i did before
i said sorry, and you said it's alright
but deep down, i know you are feeling disappointed
i know you wanted to keep it a secret, and now i have shattered it

i know whatever i say now will be useless
but all the same i love you
not because you said it first, but cos
i love you the way you are
but now
i feel unworthy of you
guilty of what i have done
so you can shout/scream/cry/ beat me or hate me even
i will gladly accept it
as long i can make up for what i've done
even with my life...

i just want to make you happy
but all was ruined cos of me...

p.s : i might be exaggerating, but i am still sorry :(

2007-12-30T05:58:00.000+08:00

After received the many sms from her at around night, I decided to post specially for her something early at 6.00 am so that she could see it if I am in church...

*********

Looking up at the night sky alone, I saw a shooting star
Though it appeared and vanished in a second
When I think of you, my heart begins to hurt
I want to see you right now, but I can't fly through the sky

If I have a wish I could have become that star
I would go flying through the sky
No matter what kind of tomorrow comes, this thought is strong
So my star is unbreakable

As I was complaining about how hateful the rain was
Even now I still remember what you said
How, after the rain, the night sky is beautifully filled with stars
Thinking of that, I could even come to like the rain

If by will I could have become that star
I would always spill my overflowing light
As you look at the night sky when you're sad
I want to sparkle more so that you will smile

You are always fighting something by yourself
Being by your side is the least I can do for you

If love permits I could have become a shooting star
I would go flying thorugh the sky, surely
I would definitely reach you, with this single moment of light
Lighting up your present and passing through the sky
If I can have become a comet
I would surely stay by your side, at any time, and everywhere

even though friends can become lovers
and lovers can become good friends
still,i will love you always (:

2007-12-29T19:03:00.000+08:00

heyyo! i am so BORED. no clara and janice, no one to talk to. SIAN.

li ying is having a MAD headache. oh no i mean MATHS headache. and a BIG one too.
lols, anyone can go crazy with the holiday math homework assignments, i don't blame her...
me included
but because i slack off too much.
LOL.

i haven't pack my camp baggies yet. maybe tomorrow? i am too lazy-.-
and another 3-4 more days SCHOOL RE-OPENS!
YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY!
YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY!
YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY!
YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY!
YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY!

(: dots...

2007-12-28T11:02:00.000+08:00

HAHAHA. i am back again!

went back to school yesterday to "do" the Isabel song and "do" the choir banner.
know why i put inverted commas behind the specified words?
cos we didn't do anything bout' them

firstly:
we decided to change the song at last, cos the range is too high. omg clarence now you say can change! i said long time ago CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE! now we have trouble finding new song liaos!

secondly:
went back multi-purpose room and instead of helping the girls on the banner...
err.we were playing instruments??
drums and the piano that is
but i kinda figured we weren't of any help even if we did try to
for me of course my art sucks,i got a C6 kays??
in the end left sharon,angela,chean pin,shun yu,janice and rosel to do the banner. hahax=P

half-way playing the piano,i received an sms from someone in the choir room who has left
complimenting me about something...
lols,i never expected something like that
and she asked me the songs that i played
cos she said it was quite nice...
hahax, i am so WOW??
dots, a series of sms exchanges began
until i went home and met her online.

anyways THANKS A LOT!
cos my mum don't quite agree with what you said and what i played
hahas, she always said that i can make the whole hdb building come down
dots o.0

could not play audition today with shunshun
cos i had to go out for dinner just that moment.
sad!!...
nvm, still got today or other days bahs
anyway i still have to rush with my graph questions
i finally knew how to do after zheng yang told me how to do it...

WHEN IS THE 2008 BBSS TIMETABLE COMING OUT?

tag replies
ShArOn: forgot to wish you merry x'mas! hahax. and i tot you know my blog url earlier? LOLS.
Linqq x3: THANKS! merry xmas too!

2007-12-26T21:49:00.000+08:00

Was playing Audution for at least half of the day, and the least I could do was to level up to level 4. Pathetic.

The other night
Clara was "pestering" and asking me a bunch of things
and she suddenly asked me how does liking someone feels like.

Now, the other day
Clara was asking me who I like.
I really really wanted to tell her
cause I think i can trust her
but still I must not say it...
I resist..resist...resist

Today, I am pondering over it.
But just after bathing
I ended playing Audition with Shun Yu, and got pawned really BADLY. RAWR!

And tommorrow, there'll be choir practice.
And it's the last practice of the year.
And we have to decorate the choir banner.

1 more week, and school will re-open. Up til then I am patiently waiting to meet up my new classmates and the CAMP. I am rotting and dying soon enough.LOL

2007-12-25T18:18:00.000+08:00

HOHOHO! MERRY CHRISTMAS=D !!!

today seemed like any normal day,as normal as could be
but it means a lot to me!
received bout'5 christmas sms greetings
haha, THANKS A LOT to these people!

went to church to watch the christmas concert!
some parts were quite hillarious
especially the part where the INNKEEPER and the PREGNANT WOMAN said their lines!
forgot what they say liaos, but i was laughing o.0!
LOL.

then, went vivo city to shop for like 1.30 hours??
got some shirts and walk and WALK and WALLK
in the end dad almost forgot where he parked his car...-.-

the end of post, lazy post le. XD

...WAIT, I FORGOT TO ADD SOMETHING.

AUDITIoN ROX AND LAGS LIKE HELL! I CANT GET THE KEYS TO WORK!RAWWR XD

tag replies:
Janice ;D : THANKS! AND MERRY X'MAS TO YA! HAHAS. NEW YEAR TOO! LOLS.

Clara: RAWRR! WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO POST? I CANT THINK OF ANYTHING!! ok, fine i post something short! anyways i shall not merry xmas to you, cos i wished u already in sms, and you too! LOL. meerry XMAS!

2007-12-24T10:50:00.000+08:00

i have no idea why, but i feel like playing something.
CURRENTLY DOWNLOADING AUDITION NOW, 1%...2%..sianz.

i have to wait for a very long time before download finishes =P
--> and i haven't finish my maths yet, i dunno how to do!!!

WTH '_'

2007-12-19T09:39:00.000+08:00

hiee! i am back to blogging again:

yesterday,clarence,leonard,shaun,zheng yang,and including me went to the christmas party!
it was okay lahs,i guess.
i didn't know i had to come at around 4.30pm,and ended up coming at 6.15pm like this? WHOA!
i managed not to disapoint the guys lahs,since they want me to come for the party...
the games were quite lame i guess, but FUN! :D
clarence got slapped on his both hands.
wished he would have got slapped on his face! haha, nah jkjk,not serious de.
but still,my mind was not really focused on the party itself
cos' i was thinking bout' something else.

anyway......
THANKS! CLARA,JANICE,SHAUN and ZHENG YANG
FOR YOUR X'MAS GIFTS!
HAHAHAS!HOPE YOU LIKE MINE ALSO! LOLS.(:

by the way, when i reached home again, i was looking at the tiny crystal ball (cannot say from who), looking for like 5 minutes, then i thought of my ex-2e1 classmates.
i feel quite sad and guilty.
cos we are going to seperate classes soon. ):
and i really haven't know them quite well.
i don't want to remain silent and quiet anymore
so...
i am going to make up for next year!
and talk more!
yups, and know my classmates better! and ex-classmates!
PROMISED! =D o.o

2007-12-16T16:25:00.000+08:00

You are a Considerate Artist.

about you
You are an Artist

Your appreciation of beauty, ability to think abstractly, and innovativeness make you an ARTIST.

Never one to be tied to a particular way of doing things, you let your imagination guide you in discovering different possibilities.

You would rather seek out new experiences than stick to your everyday habits, taking in as much of the world as possible.

Your eye for beauty and your willingness to consider different perspectives make your creative efforts interesting—even though you may not realize this yourself.

You prefer to think about things before voicing your opinion, considering a wide, diverse range of options.

While there are forms and styles that you prefer, you tend to keep an open mind when it comes to your artistic preferences.

You are curious about things, interested in the "why" more than the “how.”

You have an active imagination that leads you express yourself in a distinct way.

You tend to do things on the spur of the moment, not sticking to a set schedule.

You tend to believe that things happen for a reason, and that not everything is under our control.

If you want to be different:

Be more open to risks in your creative efforts, and don't be quick to dismiss the praise of others.

Think about how attention to detail may help you be more sure of yourself.

how you relate to others
You are Considerate

You trust others, care about them, and are slow to judge them, making you CONSIDERATE.

You value your close relationships very much, and are more likely to spend time in small, tightly-knit groups of friends than in large crowds.

You enjoy exploring the world through observation, quietly watching others.

Relating to others so well, and understanding their emotions, leads you to trust people in general, even though you're somewhat shy and reserved at times.

Your belief that people are generally well-intentioned contributes to your sympathy regarding their problems.

Although you may not vocalize it often, you have an awareness of how society affects individuals, and you understand complex causes of people's behavior.

You like to look at all sides of a situation before making a judgment, particularly when that situation involves important things in other people's lives.

Your close friends know you as a good listener.

If you want to be different:

Because other people would benefit immensely from your understanding and insight, you should try to be more outgoing in social situations, even when they make you uncomfortable. Others will want to hear what you have to say!

2007-12-15T17:31:00.000+08:00

to a certain someone:

(do you know terrible it is, if you just can't do anything and yet criticise us of something?
you do not care about how others feel at all, you only cared about what you do
when all of us are trying to give our best, you just don't give a damn about anything
please, if you read this post, self-reflect on what you did
i don't really want to even shout or scold you about your "attitude"
sorry if i "get on your nerves" after i write this post...
but you "got on everyone' nerves" in the first place
and the rationale is 6:1 = /)

yesterday, we went jermyn's house to do the 'Isabel" song.
we tried splitting into parts and practise ourselves with the different chords
still managed it until some parts, though i did not even sing or do anything, mainly...
I WAS PLAYING THE PIANO FOR THEM!!!

wth, i don't know the tune!
and i am just afraid i can't make it when ms yee comes in on monday to hear the boys sing.
hope we can still present acceptable quality 0.0

2007-12-12T18:53:00.000+08:00

finally, i have changed my blogskin. at least it looks okay than the previous blogskin.

do tag often, i will try to blog more often =D

tag replies
SHUWEN: okays. will link you CORRECTLY soon. lol
aisyah: hi=D

2007-12-01T12:19:00.000+08:00

i think i saw my ex-crush yesterday......

my heart is starting to waver, sigh.

i didn't know whether it was her, but whether if it was or not, that was in the past. i just don't wish just because of this and mess up my current feelings for someone i like now.

sorry to my own conscience, sigh ='\......

2007-11-27T14:17:00.000+08:00

okay.i have the mood to finally blog. let me update bout' the chalet first, though i am just going to sum up the whole 3 days into a short account.

overall, the family chalet was quite okay (: the 1st day we arrived about 4-5pm like this. because it was already like evening, we can't go to Wild Wild Wet or Escape Theme Park to enjoy ): but that's okay.we had bbq around 7pm and played poker cards with neighbors that came with us until i felt so tired.went to sleep at 10pm plus like this......

2nd day of chalet was fun luh! morning went down to the air-conditioned food centre
for breakfast. was going to buy prata then someone was like calling my name. these students(should i say people instead?) said they were from bbss and they keep saying "hi!" to me. i said "hi!" back to them but i had no idea who were they in the 1st place...but looking at a particular boy joining them i kept thinking that they were from 2e4'...after that went arcade to play and play! i suck at basketball and dancing, cos' my score was damn low. =_="

after that we went to wild wild wet. whoa! rode the slides a lot of times (not the children slides, the scary slides if you would call it) and got myself giddy. but enjoyed myself thoroughly!

later on, we went for bbq again and played poker cards(why am i repeating the same thing over again??) and slept this time a bit later..but still very fast fall asleep.

3rd day of chalet was the most depressing one. we can't play the arcade, but went to escape theme park. went haunted house, played inverter machine thingy and the roller coaster thingy. after the whole games was over, we went out. then dad was supposed to drive us home but he was so angry (i have no idea what was going on that time) and drove us out of the car at the bus stop. before that the bbss students i met at the food centre were waving at me and i wave back at them. my mum was like at the bus stop alone, and also seeing desiree at the bus stop confirmed my conclusion that 2e4 was having a chalet also. i became that emo and asked mum if we had done anything wrong and she said we didn't. but i have a feeling that something is not right..):

the whole problem is so complicated, i don't understand what happened. but i guess that mum and dad had a quarrel again.

sigh, i don't wish to talk about this. later at night will be updating again. see ya later! =D

btw, the "us" and "they" are people whom i don't name for personal reasons. =P

2007-11-25T13:37:00.001+08:00

finally i am back from the chalet! but i am just too lazy and tired to update. maybe some day i will update...see ya! XD

2007-11-23T15:08:00.000+08:00

Chalet today at Pasir Ris. I will be gone for at least 2 days.
I will most likely come back by Sunday/Monday. Miss you peeps!(:

2007-11-22T17:13:00.001+08:00

I couldn't stand this feeling.
I have got to burst out this feeling that lies deep within my heart.
Sometimes I just stare in envy at two person sticking together like bubble-gum.
I thought within myself, I don't need it, I like being one and one.
Contary motioned, it was terribly wrong.
Now I realised how many chances I missed out, because I don't take the first steps.
It's too late to regret it, but I will continue on with my journey.
After 2 years of clinging to that tiny hope, I gave up,
Knowing that a futile effort would not bear love in the process.
And told myself not to fall for Cupid's arrow again.
But now another small flower comes along,
would I really fall for it again like the old times,
and not do anything?
It's hard to say, but I would rather resist it,
knowing that I could not face it,
however hard the feeling inside might be jingling around like bells.
But I still want to say:
"That I love you ............"

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"as my little good friend inside my heart."
I can't face my feelings straightforward, I rather let go of that hope, knowing that the same thing will happen again.

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2007-11-22T08:55:00.000+08:00

came back from choir camp yesterday...shall update about it today.

CAMP DAY 1:

arrived at school at about 12.05pm like this, i was too early, almost no boys were here. no one to talk to, so walk around the entire school for like countless times before the music room was opened. there was a briefing about what was going to happen during the 3 days 2 nights stay before we started sectionals and choir practices. after all these, WE HAD GAMES! LOLS. the games were not that bad, i think. 1st game was supposed to do some stuffs like memorising sentences and doing some stuff before you get some hints for the next location to go. 2nd game was the "Gold Bar Mission" if i am not wrong. objective of this game is to find as many gold bars as possible without getting caught by the guards roaming about and the company members, i suppose so.

soon, the games were over. we had dinner. then wanted to bathe. however the rugby boys occupied almost every of the boys toilets with bathing cubicles. we had to wait around 30 minutes. after we went in to bathe, the rugby boys keep pestering us to speed up cos' they need to bathe. wth, they could have bathe when they had their times mah! they throw vulgarities atme, jermyn and who else i forgotten liaos. in the end, my clothes almost got wet so i asked jermyn to put my clothing into his cubicle. however, his clothes also got a little wet i think because the boys were spraying water into our cubicle underneath. jermyn went back complaining to ms seah about them and the water was cold. HAHA. but i was still quite pissed off.

after that, we had night walk, and searching for our numbers around Block A and B. it was damn tough. the numbers could be stuck around at any classrooms and some other places. i keep getting lost with my group... ):

went to sleep bout' 4am in the morning i think, cos couldn't even sleep. someone was doing something the whole time while we were not sleeping. slept until 5am like this. then talk and played chess with clarence and jermyn until jermyn went to sleep, then clarence and me went to sleep. i slept from 5.30am like this until 6.45am..

CAMP DAY 2:

had morning exercises and stretching, and had another game called the "mouse and cat" game. (i think so..) some of us are chosen to be cats and mouse. cats were supposed to catch the mice. the others not playing are supposed to form barriers and turning around 90 degrees clockwise after signalled. i know some of the girls and boys were quite fast, but forgotten who. i got caught while trying to speed up cos i almost fell down, causing syafiqah to fell down .sorry!

we had breakfast, and went to west coast park to start on another game i think. i was made to do forfeit before the game started with clarence and some others. it was quite hilarious, but nvm bout that. yes i am embarassed. LOL. our group kept roaming around finding the GAME IC's. after we got 5 sigantures from the IC's, we couldn't find any of the others! in the end we found out that we were supposed to folow the walking track and find the rest of the game IC's deep inside someplace. heard that shaun had been taking photographs with people around west coast. HAHA. we had lunch at mcdonalds, while listening to clarence and ezra "discussing" about religion and some astrology stuff. went back to school on bus later on.

we had like 2 hours of free time bathing and discussing about the showtime activities. our group decided to sing "At the beginning" while me and jermyn were supposed to play on the piano. after practising for like 1 hour plus, we finally got the chords and the melody on how to play. then clarence wanted to ask me bout' something but later said that hui shan was going todo it. in the end, what clarence really wanted to ask me was to play the beginning of the "Phamtom of the opera" for their group, which I found out from hui shan that she asked me to play instead. during their play, i was so blur and i don't know when to come in. dots. my fault. our group managed to sing out the song, though we had some disasterous problems playing the piano. i was quite sad. after the whole thing, band played for us their usual tunes and organised something like storytelling or what. clarence and ezra got sabotaged to play the part as husband and wife. HAHAHA. after the whole showtime is over, we went back and jermyn and ezra went to watch the ghost movie( forgot title liaos). then clarence, shaun, zhen yang, me and jordan were playing monkey with the sleeping bag and catching it. we made too much noise i guess. cos' around 1pm like this ms seah came in. this time i slept very early bout' 1.10am like this and woke up like 6am plus in the morning again. now the tables turned, instead of them waking me up, i wake the others up now.

CAMP DAY 3:

today was the last day. had sec 1 orientation part 2, supposed to do some decorations on the choir notice board by today, but heard from shaun that it was going to be done during he december practices. we had loads of time doing nothing and later helping out by tying ribbons into the bookmarks and cutting up ribbons. the leaders were supposed to make on-spot speech after that.wth, kellie asked me to do the speech. i really had no idea what to say at the time...
but still i figured it out what to say last minutes. later prizes were given out and we got in 3rd for something which i still don't know until now. later we were dismissed from the camp and went back home taking 157 bus.

yes, i know the whole recounting is damn boring, but if i don't i would regret creating this blog for nothing. so please do bear with me and read it.( the whole sentence is supposed to be on top, ARGH)

will be changing blogskin and updating some day. (: (actually i have done it with the skin.lol)

2007-11-14T16:23:00.001+08:00

hi guys! so long never update le...

but these 2 weeks haven't got anything to say about.

the streaming results are out! let's see...

ROY NG KAI EN 2E1 1B 3E2

WEE! SO HAPPY! CLARENCE, LEONARD AND CLARA SAME CLASS ALSO.

YAYS! (:

2007-10-26T18:35:00.001+08:00

today is the last day of school. however, as contary to most people, i do not really feel so sad today.....

maybe it's because the classmate-relationship is not that strong...i guess. after 2 years together, i can't find any good reasons of not leaving this class. at least i would start afresh next year. a lot of things has happened and changed a lot of my past ideas.

i am looking forward to secondary three life. hope everything would be alright by then.

with these 2 months of holidays, i can do anything...but first i have to focus on piano 1st, especially i haven't been really REALLY practising for weeks already. i have been fooling around too much.

also to read up my music theory and take the theory examinations by next year...

there was no choir for the whole of this week, cos' of O'levels. i was so bored lors, especially go home after school, nothing to do at all except to PLAY.

thanks a lot, for people who have been encouraging me for a lot of things that happened these 2 years. i know a lot of things from you all guys! though we might be seperated, don't be sad! still can keep in touch...and go out together some day?

anyways, wish everyone the best for next year! forget all the unpleasant things and move forward!

and do not forget to pack your stuff for the camps! ccas too!

2007-10-23T21:52:00.000+08:00

sigh, what in the world is happening to meee?

i am so emo now...losing to more than 7 choir members, and i am getting all so worked up. all right, i am trying to put a brave front, but deep inside i am damn disappointed. sigh o_o''.

i could have done much better if i took my work seriously...

anyway, i dropped higher mother tongue with leon. i got tired over this issue, i don't want this hard chinese subject to pull my overall down. plus, it's unfair that the express chinese papers are so easy cakes! the standards are such a big diference lors!

2 more days to piano...
3 more days to holidays...
1 week to choir...
and 5 months to my grade 5 pratical exams!

what the hell. i didn't know that i had to wait so long for piano exams. had i known i would have took grade 5 practical last month. many people are catching with me. in fact, many people HAD already caught up with me. i have gotta pass grade 8 by next year, by chionging and telling my teacher that i'll learn grade 8 in 5 months time? lols, I-M-P-O-S-S-I-B-L-E.

but there's always a hope for the word: "miracles" (: haha!

2007-10-22T18:26:00.000+08:00

whoa, i am so bored....AT HOME!
at least that there's choir tomorrow, good heavens thank you...xD

sigh, my overall percentage for the whole year is 65%!
but what the hell, i lost to 96 people for the whole level!
i was 97th position in the whole level! wth.
i lost to clara i think...

CLARA TAN YI JUN! YOU SAID THAT YOU DID BADLY, BUT YOU BEAT ME!! ARGH!
LOLS. I AM TOO $%^&*.

I lost to too many people. Must buck up for next year to get my revenge! I mean to get top 40 in whole level obviously!

2007-10-21T21:44:00.000+08:00

went out almost the whole of today, shopping spree for slingbags.

finally found one of my liking( and with my parent's agreement), purchased one for about $50.
i liked the colour itself, but i don't really like the pattern the designer covered the brand logo. but overall it still looked nice. (:

will be going IMM tomorrow at Jurong to buy some files for my musical scores. anyone joining in PLEASE tell me! i am going alone......

LOLS! haha.. ;p

2007-10-19T21:04:00.000+08:00

how boring...if you know what it means by "killing two birds with one stone"...

yes! killing "people" and "boredom". i was playing counter-strike for the past few days, ever since i got hold of anthology disc 1...

had fun using ak47 gun to headshot people. just found out the ak47 first shot is quite lethal for accurate snipers. lols, this proves that i mastered that gun! i haven't forgot my previous nickname. however, i hate that andi should change it to something else next time.

anyway, i am sure this is not all you want to hear...

was talking to some people today. many were quite personal, mostly were minor issues. however, even small things can lead to big things.
how we often follow the world, the world and the world...everyone has a mind for the 1st thing they were ever created of. it's our choice and destiny with that soft big tissue in our heady helmet. however most people chose to follow other BIG TISSUES, neglecting their own tissues all this while. might as well replace it with a soft tissue paper that we sneeze into.

however, this does not imply to my dearest choir juniors. it's a "friend" of mine. i have been tolerating for quite awhile. i don't want to be the violent kind of person again. i am on the verge of dying to beat something out of nothing. please, think of others and not yourself. soul-search yourself before blaming others or insulting other or critisism even. we are mere humans, not perfect angels.

i am just glad to go into other classes next year for sec 3. the class seems perfect, but some "mirrors" had reflected the cracks beyond the scenes, if you know what i mean. i can't just be too straightforward to say it.

might go to bbss website to check that choosing streaming classes for next year. i wonder what i should apply for. i don't even know whether i will do okay or bad or very good... hope i could get 4 distinctions and above.

sigh, why must SA1 be counted for our overall examinations? it's not fair for people who have studied so hard for SA2(like me!), yet get pulled down by SA1. furthermore, it's not small %, it's a total of 25-35% if i am not wrong. anyway that is enough to pull the lever down from A1 to B3.

2007-10-14T12:54:00.000+08:00

i am at my dad's office now, so there's really nothing to talk bout' for today..

will be updating tommorow for more details. going to play badminton later in the late afternoon, provided that's not raining for sure.

haven't mastered "Puttin on the Ritz". I will be in a so damn big mess if I don't practise it by tuesday/thursday. I don't want to disappoint anyone!

2007-10-12T14:17:00.000+08:00

you know what? my last 3 papers are like so bad...):

i got 67/100 for home economics =.=
i got 39/75 for literature! what the hell... :[
i got 60/100 for art. well that's expected out of the unexpected.lols.

don't have mood to talk about examinations matters. lets go into today......

we had almost all the "free time" for all lessons today!
there was no mathematics, sciences, higher chinese, history and home economics periods!
and for history and sciences, we watched movies!
i don't know the plot of the movie during history, cos' i was talking to many people,
but i did concentrate on the "Tom and Jerry" movie scenes we watched during sciences! haha it was so funny!
and the subtitles were in chinese, we teased miss punitha whether she knows how to read chinese or not.
Tom's comical acts are so funny, especially when his bottoms split!
well, he could never win smart,short Jerry!

after school, some of us wanted to go LAN and play counter-strike.
then as one doesn't want to go, some of them want go play bowling.
never mind, i saved S$2! so went out of the school to eat noodles with cliff, bervyn and josh.
i was so what, want to wait for others before i eat.
but in the end, i still started first.
then the 3 of them excluding me talked and talked bout' maple.
i was quiet then the whole time
cos i quitted maple a month ago.-_-''

after that go bus stop went up bus 157. saw the girls' trio from our class..
then later stop at another bus stop saw cliff.
amazing! his bus 66 travel down the mountain faster than 157 which travel so straight.
sigh...we must be flexible!! but that doesn't mean the roads must be curved.lols

finally, we took bus 333 and i stop a bus stop earlier than him. i was too tired to walk, but i faked it telling cliff that my house very far away have to walk a long distance.haha.(:

2007-10-11T16:22:00.000+08:00

there's plenty of time, so i'll blog bout' today......

got back 5 important papers: higher chinese, maths, sciences, english and last of all history. all of them came backin consecutive order. some papers i did okay, while others i am so disappointed. why? you will know soon enough.

firstly, higher chinese:

i did beyond expectations! i got 71 marks overall!! haha, a miracle. my paper 2 mostly pulled me up--paper 1: 60/90 and paper 2: 82/110. whoa!

secondly, maths:

got 79 marks! despite losing 8 marks for leaving blanks in both sections, i still got A1! too bad i didn't get 80, cos' it would have been a HIGH A! ARGH! anyways---paper 1: 31/40 and paper 2: 48/60. YEAH!

thirdly, sciences:

NO! i did so badly! i can't believe i flunked the whole paper. sad... failed physics part, and i did not do really well for biology ): never mind, i will do better in sec 3. lucky part, my mcq pulled me up!---paper 1: 23/30, paper 2: 16/35 and paper 3: 21/35. SIANZ...zzz

then came english:

it's okay, though i wished i could do better. through moderation marked by our teacher, the whole level students got additional 3 marks each. i got 70 exactly! zz..but not good enough, wished i could have got 75-- paper 1: 46/60 and paper 2: 48/80. (plus oral examinations included inside the total marks)..

lastly, history...:

what the hell! i was so disappointed again! i got exactly got 70 marks out of 100! because of a lot of careless mistakes and time limit, i couldn't get A1! not again...how long am i going to remain like this...

still, my total overall % for the 5 subjects: around 70%-still not bad...but really have to buck up for other papers!!!

now onto real stuff...i mean the happenings of today...
other than giving out papers, someone lost her handphone today. feel so sad for her, the best we can do for her is to help her find back her phone. after thorough searching( which included rampaging of bags and books and lockers, why??!)...still no hint of the missing "valuable". sigh...all i can say is that everyone should be on the lookout for your own things, and not leave them around...

lastly, we had the arts enrichment programme! however it was a OMG disaster...
i acted stupidly without knowing MY LINES!
and everyone was like "errr...what in the hell is this guy doing?"
or at least i think so...
i failed so miserably...
but i just have no self-confidence...
maybe one day i will learn from it.

having piano lessons at night. i am gonna be so exhausted..xD''

that's all for today, i think it's very long post to keep you until the weekends. till then.
=D =D =D

2007-10-10T16:38:00.000+08:00

hi. back to blogging business. someone asked me to update it, so i think i should cos' my blog's dying...

yesterday and today: both were the marking days, so i had 2 free days at home crapping and rotting.. is either piano or com or eat or sleep or read or watch.....

anyway, today was still usually normal. woke up and made breakfast. then headed for the com straight away! then all i do from the start was to just watch anime! anime rocks! watched 3 episodes of bleach today. so far, i have watched 75 episodes i think. in just 5 days! yeah i am an anime freak.

then went to stop and practise piano. usual songs--exam pieces( grade 4 and 5) and other songs and anime. i wanted to have more songs to play, so i asked someone to print...i have been bothering this person to help me print ever since last year. thanks a lot! i really aprecciate it. and sorry to waste your ink 0_o. haha (:

later went to chat with some friends. was really really bored. talked about some "lame stuff"? and hi here hi there. i feel as if i am irritating. lols

thats all i can chunk up. maybe i would come up an interesting review next time. well when? maybe tommorow? don't know. i hope so....